


Third Base

by Cheru-chan1316 (orphan_account)



Series: Third Base Universe [1]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Blow Jobs, First Kiss, M/M, Multi, very questionable consent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-22
Updated: 2019-10-22
Packaged: 2020-12-28 04:14:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21130589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Cheru-chan1316
Summary: “What the hell does third mean!” Ed shouted, confused and frustrated.Roy and Jean looked at each other in shock. “You don’t know?” they asked in unison. Ed shook his head, embarrassed that he didn’t know something that he obviously was supposed to.





	Third Base

**Author's Note:**

> So, Ed doesn't initially consent when the hanky panky starts, and since his consent is not freely and enthusiastically given (he's held down and clearly says no) the rape/non-con tag definitely applies.

It was one of those days when boredom took a firm hold on Headquarters. For once everything was going right; there were no meetings, no deadlines, no paperwork, and no evil villains trying to take over the world. It was a quiet and calm morning with nothing extraordinary in the works. And it was driving Second Lieutenant Jean Havoc crazy. Now, the tall blond smoker was all for an easy going pace, however, days like today were, in his opinion, maddening.

In a desperate attempt to cause something, anything, to happen, the Lieutenant decided to ask Colonel Roy Mustang about his date the night before. The man would no doubt brag about the night, leaving Havoc to sulk about his unfortunate luck with women, but at least there would be conversation, freeing Jean from the monotony of the day.

“So, Colonel, how was your date with, oh what was her name this time? Melissa?” The tall blond asked, leaning backwards in his chair so that it was balanced on only two legs, a task he would never attempt in the presence of First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye who was, luckily, off today. 

The Colonel looked up from doodling on his ink blotter, looking as bored as Havoc felt. “It was Marissa, actually, and the date was okay,” Roy said, dropping his head onto his hands and watching the shocked Lieutenant with mild interest. 

“What!? Only okay? That’s a first,” Havoc gaped, standing up and dragging his chair over to Roy’s desk and sitting down in it backwards, elbows resting on the back of the chair. 

“Did she not put out or something, Colonel?” Second Lieutenant Heymans Breda asked, laying down his magazine in favor of joining the conversation. 

“No, well, I guess we got to second base, but I don’t know. There just wasn’t that spark, you know?” The dark-haired Colonel explained. “I ended up calling it a night before we got any further.”

Havoc and Breda shook their heads in disbelief. They’d both kill to have the Colonel’s luck with women. He could walk into a room and they would flock to him like birds to breadcrumbs. It was insane. 

“You could have any girl you want and you just toss them aside right and left,” Havoc whined.

“Yeah, it’s murder on our egos,” Breda muttered, glaring at his superior officer. 

Roy gave his subordinates a cocky smile. “Yes, it’s nice to not have to worry about finding a date,” the Colonel said, his dark eyes alight with mischief. 

“Ugh! You’re horrible!” Jean growled, tossing a pen at Roy. The Colonel dodged it with a laugh.

“So, how far have you gotten on a first date?” the round red head asked conversationally, ignoring the minor office supply fight that was happening next to him. He’d stop them once the stapler was thrown. 

“Homerun, of course,” the Colonel said proudly, shooting a rubber band at Jean. “With both sexes.”

“Of course,” Havoc replied hotly, ducking away from the projectile and flicking a paperclip at Roy. 

Breda watched, amused, as his commanding officer dived out of the way, hurling an eraser at the smoker’s head. “What about you, Havoc?” Breda asked.

“Third. I’ve nothing against the same sex. You?”

“Only third?” the red head teased, dodging a wad of paper that was thrown at him. “I’ve had a couple of homeruns too. Women, though. I don’t bat for the other team.”

“Well fuck you both!” Havoc snarled, diving from his chair to the edge of Roy’s desk, taking cover as both men threw some well aimed paperweights. “I just feel guilty going past third on a first date. It seems uncivilized.” 

“What are you talking about? It’s all about the number of runs you get, am I right, Colonel?” Heymans asked, catching a paper ball Havoc had thrown and chucking it right back at the cowering Lieutenant. 

“Right,” Roy agreed. “Getting to third is all well and good, but it’s the homerun that counts. Stop being a pansy, Havoc.”

“I like third base, okay!” Jean yelled, picking up Roy’s pen holder and hurling pens left and right. 

The Colonel laughed and grabbed his empty coffee mug, sending the white piece of ceramic hurtling towards Havoc. 

“The homerun feels better,” Breda and Roy said together as the Colonel grabbed the stapler.

“I didn’t know you guys liked baseball,” a new voice said from behind Breda causing the three men to jump guiltily at being caught acting like a bunch of school kids. 

“Fullmetal, what are you doing here?” the Colonel demanded, sitting up straight in his desk and trying to look professional despite the room being in complete disarray.

Edward Elric bent down and picked up several of the pens that littered the floor, handing them to Havoc who was still holding the glass jar that originally housed them. “Al and I just got back from our latest mission. We didn’t turn anything up. Al’s back at the dorms putting together a grocery list. I told him I’d come here to give you our report quick,” the blond explained, setting Roy’s coffee mug back on the desk. “So, you guys like baseball? What are your favorite teams?” the alchemist asked eagerly, gold eyes bright and inquisitive. 

Jean, Heymans, and Roy all exchanged amused glances. It was obvious that the young man had only caught part of the conversation. He had no clue what they were really talking about. 

“Both,” the Colonel said vaguely with a smirk on his face.

“Yeah, I agree with the Colonel,” Havoc said nodding. 

Breda rolled his eyes. “No, definitely not. I’m sticking with the curves, thanks.”

“Eh?” Ed said, confused. “What are you guys talking about?”

“Bases,” Roy said in explanation. “Which base do you like, Fullmetal?”

“Umm, I’m not sure what you’re asking,” Ed said, looking from Roy’s teasing smirk to Havoc’s, knowing he was missing something, but not quite sure what it was. 

“Well, let’s put it this way,” the Colonel said, “if you were playing the game would you rather have a homerun or be on third base?”

Breda snickered and Havoc glared at the Colonel. Ed looked around nervously getting the feeling that no matter what his answer was, it was going to be bad. 

“Ah…well, a homerun,” Ed said hesitantly, watching Roy suspiciously. If they were really talking about baseball then that would be the correct answer.

“See, even Ed agrees!” Breda boomed, laughing. Roy’s smirk turned nastier, but he managed to keep a straight face.

“That’s not fair!” Havoc yowled. “The Chief has no idea what we’re actually talking about!”

Ed frowned, even more confused than before. “We’re talking about baseball, right?”

Breda laughed harder and Roy finally broke down, doubling over. Havoc scowled at the men, but was unable to keep from laughing once he saw Ed’s utterly baffled face. 

“What’s so funny?” Ed demanded, feeling more and more uncomfortable and irritated by the minute. “Hey! I said, what’s so funny? What are you guys really talking about? Why are you laughing?”

Breda stood up and made his way to the door, still laughing. “Shit. That’s funny,” the rotund man chuckled to himself. “I’ve gotta go tell this one to Fuery and Falman.”

Once the Second Lieutenant had made his exit, closing the door behind him, Ed turned back towards his commanding officer. “What the hell was that about!” the blond hissed, not liking being made fun of and kept in the dark. “Tell me what the double meaning behind all that was!”

“J-just baseball,” Roy gasped. 

Ed glowered at the man. “Bullshit!” the blond snapped, turning to Havoc. “Tell me!” he ordered, advancing on the taller blond who had sat back down on his abandoned chair. 

“Well, its baseball mixed with…er…sexual references,” the smoker said, trying to keep a straight face. Ed’s comical facial contortions ruined his attempt however. 

“What!” the blond shrieked in his excitable way. “What s-sexual references!”

“How far have you gotten, Edward?” the Colonel asked, straightening up.

“What do you mean?” Ed asked, spinning back to Roy. 

“With a girl or a boy. How far have you gone?” Roy repeated calmly. 

Edward blushed then, suddenly understanding what the Colonel was getting at. “I-I’ve n-never…”

“See! We can’t include the Chiefs point of view cause he’s never even gotten to third!” Havoc yelled at the Colonel. 

“What the hell does third mean!” Ed shouted, confused and frustrated. 

Roy and Jean looked at each other in shock. “You don’t know?” they asked in unison. Ed shook his head, embarrassed that he didn’t know something that he obviously was supposed to. 

“Well, Chief, first base is kissing,” Havoc explained. 

“And a homerun is going all the way,” the Colonel added. 

“You’ve at least kissed, right? I mean, you’re nineteen, you’ve had to at least made it to first by now!” 

Ed’s cheeks turned crimson and he looked down at his black boots, hiding behind his bangs and hoping that no one would notice. “W-well, I was busy trying to get our bodies back and then after that running missions for the Colonel and I haven’t really had time to…um…and well…girls don’t really go for guys like me…ah…you know…I’m not exactly a whole person,” Ed stuttered. “The automail turns them off….and ah…I’m kinda loud and rough on the edges…and—”

“Short,” the Colonel interrupted.

“I’m not short!” Ed snarled at Roy, fierce gold eyes meeting amused black ones. 

“For nineteen, you’re short,” Roy teased.

Slamming his hands on Roy’s desk, the blond growled, “Fuck you!”

“Okay,” Roy purred. “I wouldn’t mind teaching you a thing or two, Edward.”

Ed backpedaled in shock. “Wh-what?!”

“You asked what team I liked, and I told you both,” the Colonel replied smoothly, standing up from his desk. “You’re quite attractive, Ed. I would love to…enlighten you about baseball.”

“About s-sex, you mean,” Ed stuttered, looking towards the door, ready to bolt. 

Roy smirked at his subordinate and came around the edge of the desk. “To be nineteen and still not have your first kiss is a crime, Fullmetal,” the Colonel said, taking another step towards the younger man. 

Ed immediately stepped backwards to get away from the older male, but tripped over Lieutenant Havoc’s feet, tumbling into the blond smoker’s lap with a surprised cry. 

“Havoc, hold him,” Roy ordered.

“Yes, Sir,” Jean responded, wrapping his arms tightly around the younger blond so that his arms were pinned to his sides, knees on either side of Havoc’s.

Ed twisted and tried to pull away in panic. “What?! No, Havoc. Stop! Let go!” the blond wailed. The Second Lieutenant held firm, chuckling at how frantic Ed seemed to be. 

“I’m just going to show you what first base is like,” Roy explained, setting his hands on Ed’s knees and leaning in close to the young alchemist. 

“Yeah, Roy’s the best kisser. He’ll show you how it’s done, Chief,” Havoc said helpfully. 

Ed stared up at his commanding officer with scared, round, gold eyes and Roy gave a devilish grin and leaned in closer. 

“No!” Ed cried, turning his face away, still unable to break Havoc’s hold on him. Roy chuckled and took the man’s chin gently in his hand, turning the blond’s face back towards his. 

The Colonel’s touch seemed to hold the Ed paralyzed as the dark-haired man leaned in so that he was only an inch from the blond. “You’ll be fine, Ed,” Roy whispered. Ed could feel the Colonel’s breath on his lips as he spoke causing the younger man’s breathing to quicken and a slight whimper to escape his soft pink lips. Roy closed his eyes, then, and pressed his lips against Edward’s in a soft, chaste kiss, only pulling away once he felt the blond begin to tremble. 

“Very nice, Ed,” Roy purred, licking his lips. Ed tasted sweet somehow and he found that he quite enjoyed it. He wanted to taste more of the dazed, flushed, blond being held in his Lieutenant’s lap. “That hardly passes as first base, though,” the Colonel whispered. “Let’s try this again.”

Ed didn’t try to pull away this time. Instead, the young alchemist closed his eyes as Roy’s mouth met his. The boy awkwardly tried to respond. Feeling Ed’s hesitant attempts, Roy grinned into the kiss, becoming more forceful. Slowly the Colonel placed his hands on Jean’s shoulders, straddling both blonds, and pushing Ed’s head back until it rested on Havoc’s shoulder. Ed groaned into the kiss as Havoc tuned his head and kissed the blond’s hair.

Roy broke the kiss so that Ed could breath, taking pleasure in the younger alchemist’s heavy pants and reddened cheeks for just a moment before meeting Ed’s lips again. 

Ed moaned. 

“Open your mouth,” Havoc whispered into the blond’s ear as Roy ran his tongue across Ed’s lips. Ed made a confused sound, but kept his mouth closed. 

The Colonel let his right hand drop from the smoker’s shoulders, trailing it down Edward’s chest, earning another whimper, before reaching its final destination. Ed gasped as Roy’s hand firmly gripped his manhood through his black leather pants. Not one to miss an opportunity, Roy slipped his tongue into the man’s mouth. Edward squeaked in surprise at the intrusion, trying to pull his head and his tongue away, but finding himself unable to move in his current position. 

The blond alchemist gave a timid whimper and tried to struggle, fear overpowering pleasure. The Colonel broke their kiss then, but still kept his hold on the blond’s cock. “You’re alright, Edward. We’re not going to hurt you,” Roy promised, rubbing his hand slowly against the younger man. “We just want to make you feel good. We want to help you understand what we were talking about.”

Ed felt his whole body shiver and he opened his mouth to protest but found that he was unable to say anything as another moan passed through his now swollen lips. Roy kissed the blond’s parted lips gently, eating up the moan, and creating more friction against Ed’s growing erection. The Colonel sucked gently on Ed’s bottom lip, pulling away slowly, kissing the blond’s jaw line and giving a slight squeeze to Ed’s throbbing hard on. 

Havoc moaned as Edward cried out, the man’s small body shaking. Jean wanted to do more to Edward, to Roy, but his orders were to hold Ed, and he couldn’t move with both Roy’s and Ed’s weight on him. He could feel himself growing hard and he began to feel frustrated with his current position. 

“Roy,” Havoc whimpered. “Do something. If not to Ed then to me. Or let me do something to Ed. Or you. Please,” the tall blond pleaded. 

The Colonel fondled the alchemist some more, but turned his gaze on Jean. “You’re doing so well, Havoc,” Roy purred, leaning forward and kissing the Lieutenant lustily. Both blonds whimpered. “Keep holding Edward. Be a good boy and I’ll reward you later,” the dark-haired alchemist promised, breaking their kiss. 

“C-Colonel,” Ed gasped, his voice high and stressed. “P-please,” the blond begged. 

Roy turned back to Ed and smirked. “If you want me to stop you only have to ask, Ed,” the Colonel teased, unbuckling the younger man’s belt. Ed moaned and panted, shaking his head slightly. “You want more?” Roy asked, unfastening the button to Ed’s pants, fingers toying with the zipper. Ed whimpered and tried to lean forward, but Jean held him fast. 

“D-don’t,” Ed panted, dropping his head back onto the Lieutenant’s shoulders and turning so that his breath ghosted along Jean’s neck. “C-Colonel, please don’t…” Ed groaned, sending shivers down Roy’s back and causing Havoc to moan. “Don’t stop.”

Roy moaned then and slowly pulled Ed’s zipper causing him to cry out in breathy gasps as each tooth released and sent pleasant vibrations along his aching erection. “To third base it is,” the Colonel, purred, freeing Ed’s erection from his boxers, and kissing him passionately, easily dominating the kiss. After making sure Edward was good and breathless, Roy stood up and dropped to his knees in front of him.

“Wh-what…are you…do-doing,” Ed panted, trying to look down at Roy, but not having enough energy to fight against Havoc’s hold to properly see. 

“There is some debate whether third base is heavy petting or oral,” the Colonel said. “I think it’s oral. Havoc?”

“Oral. Most fucking definitely oral,” the blond smoker panted, completely turned on by Ed’s heavy panting on his neck and the sight of the flushed, fully erect young alchemist in his lap with his commanding officer kneeling between his legs. It was all rather voyeur. 

“There you are, Edward. Third base is oral,” Roy said against the blond’s heated groin. Ed moaned and gasped, shutting his eyes tight as the Colonel’s fingers idly played in his golden curls. 

“Y-you m-mean y-you’re going t-to put me in y-your m-mou— ahhhh!” 

Edward never had a chance to finish his sentence as Roy swallowed him whole, sucking teasingly as Ed tossed his head straight back and moaned from his very soul, a sound that was low and deep and made Roy ache so fiercely that, for a moment, he honestly didn’t know if he’d be able to stop at third base. 

“Aw, shit,” Jean groaned, closing his own eyes as the sight and sound became too much for him. “Colonel, make him do that again,” the Lieutenant pleaded as the burning sensation within him heightened. 

Roy smirked with his mouth full and bobbed his head up, swirling his tongue at the blond’s tip, causing Ed to gasp, shudder, and squirm desperately, before taking the his length completely in his mouth again, sucking forcefully and earning a cry that was almost better than the first one. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Havoc panted, letting his head fall back with a moan of his own. Ed, lost in sensation, was oblivious as the Lieutenant’s grip slackened considerably. He was close, so close he could almost taste it. Edward’s cock pulsed in Roy’s mouth and he knew the younger man was near the end. 

“P-please,” Ed gasped, his voice so choked and ragged that the Colonel could hardly believe that such a sound could come from him. “R-Roy,” Ed begged, a sob escaping as Jean moaned and dropped his hands to the blond’s thighs, kneading. Roy’s entire body tingled as Ed called his name. It was strange hearing it fall from Edward’s lips, but wonderful too. 

Edward nearly screamed, sobbing as he came, exploding into Roy’s hot, wet mouth as the Colonel sent him over the edge. Roy swallowed most of Edward’s evidence, lapping up the rest, loving the soft breathless sobs that came from Ed, leaning heavily against the Lieutenant’s sturdy frame. 

Slowly standing, Roy leaned back over Edward and kissed him, gently, sensually, until the blond moaned into the kiss. The younger man parted his lips without hesitation, completely dominated by his superior officer, tasting both Roy and himself, an odd but pleasant flavor. Inexplicably he knew he wanted more. 

“Fucking told you third base is where it’s at,” Havoc panted, grinding against Ed's backside and breaking up Ed and Roy’s kiss. Roy scoffed. 

“I still think a homerun is better, but I will say, that was probably the most fun I’ve had at third base in a while,” Roy murmured, raising his hand and petting Ed’s sweaty bangs back from his face. Ed closed his eyes and leaned into the Colonel’s touch. He didn’t know why, but it just felt right. 

Roy practically glowed as Ed allowed the touch. Something did feel right about what had just happened even though he had pretty much forced himself on Ed. He didn’t want Edward to be angry at him. If anything he hoped that he had piqued his interest. He would love to be able to fool around with Ed again some time. There was definitely a spark there sexually. 

“Okay, don’t mean to be a party pooper, but you’re heavy, Ed. Get off unless you want to get me off,” Jean ordered, trying to lift the blond but still too weak from climax to actually do much of anything. 

Ed groaned and sat up, swaying slightly. The Colonel steadied him as the blond stood up, allowing the man to lean against him for support as Havoc emptied the chair. 

“I’m going to the bathroom to finish up,” the Lieutenant said, unsteadily heading towards the office doors. “You should get the Chief cleaned up before Breda gets back. Remember, he doesn’t swing that way, Colonel. I think he’d wig out a bit of he walked in on this.

Roy nodded, wrapping his arms around Ed, who seemed to think that now would be a perfect time for a nap. “I’ll take care of him. You go clean up.”

“I hope to god that this doesn’t get awkward,” Jean mumbled as he left the office, closing the door on his way out. Roy sighed, knowing exactly what the Lieutenant meant. Really, it all rested on Edward now. Jean and Roy had been something of fuck buddies for a while, but they were both sexually experienced and open. The Colonel wasn’t so sure how Ed would take what had just happened once he was more coherent. 

Roy looked down at the blond and chuckled when he saw that he was asleep. “Let’s lay you down and clean you up,” the Colonel murmured, picking the younger alchemist up and carrying him over the worn out, over stuffed couch in the corner of the office. “And once you wake up, we’ll have a talk,” Roy said softly, petting Ed’s hair again, not quite sure why he felt the need to do so. The blond sighed in his sleep and leaned into the touch, a slight smile forming on those wonderfully kissable lips.

Maybe third base isn’t so bad after all, Roy thought as he bent down and gave Edward what he hoped would not be their last kiss.


End file.
